You've got this – what to do when falling apart

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By Kristina Coyne

January 24, 2017

Category: Mindset

My tagline says “putting the pieces together”. That’s not what happened yesterday. Yesterday, the pieces totally fell apart.
Have you ever had one of those days, where you know you should be doing something, and you just totally have no idea what it should be? You just can’t work out what your next step is? You feel totally overwhelmed? Feel like this new direction was the wrong direction? You don’t feel you have any of the skills or knowledge to make it in this new world? You should just go back to what you were doing before, and not try something new?
Well, that was me yesterday.
I’d flown over to Edinburgh, United Kingdom, to go to a workshop with Michael Cheney. He’s an amazing guy – totally genuine, sincere, wants so much to help others, gives other internet marketers a real step up by sharing his business with them. I learnt so much over the weekend with him. I was so blessed to be in that room, with 20 other wonderful people. The kind of people I’d love to stay in touch with, because each of them were so generous and had so much to offer.
You’d think then that everything was all set for a superb week this week? Time to dig in, review what I had learned, and start putting it into practice.
Well, that was the plan.
What happened was so far from that, that it is almost laughable.
The day started off ok. I had a lovely breakfast with quite a few of the people who hadn’t flown out yet.
Then back to my room at the hotel to get stuck into things. I set up my to do list. Read over my notes. Concentrated on the ones at the very beginning, from Saturday morning, because there was no way I was ready yet for the advanced information from Sunday. Feeling ok.
I spent the morning getting a couple of things in order. That was ok. Things worked out as I expected.
And then CRASH!
I found myself unable to do anything. I couldn’t work out what I had to do, to even take the first action to meet my tasks. I was unsure whether I was on the right track. Would this work? Was there a better way to do it? Was I going about it all wrong?
By this time it was 2 in the afternoon, Edinburgh time. There I was, sitting all alone in my dark hotel room. Pretty crappy view of plumbing outside my window.
All looked incredibly bleak.
Inside, I was sitting on my bed, rocking back and forth. Tears streaming down my face. Hyperventilating. Feeling so physically sick that I thought I would throw up.
Back home, it was 1 in the morning. All my friends and family were asleep.
And here was I, totally falling apart.
No one to talk to. No one in the same time zone I could call on.
And then my email dinged. A reminder about the Motivational Monday webinar from Internet Profits. Run by Louis Doughty, Affiliate Partner Relationship Manager and President of Coaching for Internet Profits. A really wonderful person, who I know genuinely cares for each of the iPro partners. As an Elite partner within iPro, I’ve had quite a bit to do with Louis as he was setting things up for me.
For once, I was in the same time zone, and could actually attend the webinar live. I dried my face, blew my nose, and got out my pen and paper.
And then I tuned in to the webinar.
Talk about the universe looking after me!
Louis’s topic for the day was being a warrior. To keep fighting the war for success.
During the webinar, he talked about the 5 weapons we have to help us in this war.

  1. Persistence. You need to keep going.
  2. Personal responsibility. Look at what you’ve been doing, and how you have contributed to the situation. What could you have changed? What have you been doing? What have you NOT been doing?
  3. Personal purpose. Believe in yourself. You have a purpose in this world, even if you’re not yet sure of what it is. Keep going, and you’ll find your purpose.
  4. High level of commitment. In all aspects of your life – health, knowledge and learning, spiritual, relationships.
  5. Hard work. This is what brings it all together.

So as I was listening to the webinar, I started to calm down. To breathe. I may not yet have all the answers, but I could find them out. I can ask for help. I’m not actually as alone as I think I am.
I’ve got this.
So after drinking some water, keeping concentrating on my breathing, and having a couple of cups of tea, I took action.
I wrote down all the things which I was trying to work on, and which I was finding so overwhelming. I wrote one on each line in my notebook.
And I took a step back and looked at them. Not with the aim of taking action on them. But with the aim of determining how I could get help with them. Were they something that I had to work on RIGHT NOW, or could I delay them for a bit? Who could I ask for guidance, to help me work out the next step on each one?
And do you know what?
Slowly, things didn’t seem so overwhelming any more. I had been putting all this pressure on myself, that I needed to do EVERYTHING, and I needed to do it RIGHT NOW.
And I don’t.
And neither do you.

  • I need to take things step by step.
  • I need to identify what is causing me grief.
  • I need to work out who I can ask for help.
  • I need to set myself realistic deadlines.
  • I need to prioritise my tasks into what is important RIGHT NOW, and what can wait till later.
  • I need to set the direction that I want my business to go, instead of trying to make it up as I go along.
  • I need to cut myself some slack.
  • I need to look after myself.
  • I need to congratulate myself on the things I have achieved, instead of only looking at the things I have still to do.

So for the rest of this week, the list above is my to do list. I will take some time out to work ON my business, not IN my business. I will get my act together, so that I can move forward with confidence.
My hope for you is that me baring my soul may help you to know that you are not alone. We all feel overwhelmed at times (hopefully not normally to the level above). We can do something about it.

  • Identify what is causing you grief.
  • Work out how you can get help with it.
  • Identify if it’s something which you have to do right now.
  • Cut yourself some slack.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments below how you deal with overwhelm. Are there additional things you do?
And if being part of an internet marketing group like iPro, where you have supportive, caring people looking out for you and willing to help you through tough times, is something you are interested in, you can find out about it here.
And remember, you’ve got this.
Shine bright.

Kristina Coyne

  1. I have just read your article – amazing! And just what I needed today, so thank you.
    I have been struggling with job knock backs, I’ve had two just this afternoon. I have struggled lately with maintaining positivity and trying to keep focus on the ‘bigger picture’, but it’s been a tough few weeks. Honestly, this has made such a difference, I have already shared with three people!

    1. I’m really thrilled that you found it useful Sandra. Thanks for sharing with me.

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